Girlss are cute :D :P

Girl-wich laptop u have?

Boy-Dell xps15,i7 processor,2.2ghz,wide led display, 4gb Ram,1tb hard disk & nvdia 9800gtx graphix card & which one u have?

 Girl-Pink color

BEST ADVERTISEMENT

The best advertisement written in front of a famous beauty parlour :

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"don't whistle at the girl going out from here, she might be ur grand mother... ;D :P

A bird was disturbing a girl all the time. Finally she caught it ;
decided to kill it cruelly
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She took it to the top of a building &; dropped it.
 "After all Girls are so intelligent" :P

Girls are so Dumb

Boy : How many apples can you eat in empty stomach ? xP
Girl : I can eat 6 apples :s
Boy : You can eat only one apple in empty stomach, because when you eat the 2nd apple thats not in empty stomach :P
Girl : Wow Good joke i will tell to my friend =P

 After...

Girl1 to Girl2 : How many apples can you eat in empty stomach ?
 Girl 2: I can eat 10 ;) ♥
 Girl 1: If you tell 6 , I could crack a Super Joke :D

Boys!!!!!

No Matter whether Boys are driving
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Ferrari
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Mercedes
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Accord or Corolla
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They are not able to overtake a . Girls College Van :P xP

A Professor Explained Marketing to MBA Students.........

 1. You see gorgeous girl in party, you go to her & say I am rich marry me That’s – Direct Marketing.

 2. You attend party & your friend goes to a girl & pointing at you tells her. He’ is very rich, marry him - That’s Advertising.

 3. Girl walks to you & says u are rich, can u marry me? “That’s Brand Recognition“

Definition of High Heels

The Coolest Definition Of HIGH HEELS FOOTWARE:
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'Its The Thing Invented By Short Girls Who Were Bored Of Being Kissed On Forehead..... :P

3 friends after 20years

‎| 3 frnds met afta 20years | Talking about their child's sucess :)

 1st : ma son studied economics became a banker & he finally became so rich tat last week he gav his frnd a Ferrari ..

 2nd : ma son studied piloting & nw he owns a company & last week he gav his frnd a jet.....

3rd frnd cums out of bathroom* Whats da buzz oll about?? ...We r talking about ur sons sucess =]

 3rd : ma son became a gay :(

 1st & 2nd frnd : Aww ! :s

 3rd frnd : but last week on his birthday his frnds gav him a Ferrari & Jet !! =P xD

Medical Teacher n Student

Medical teacher: "if a girl falls unconsciou s give her a lip lock to blow air in her lungs while keep pressing her chest with your hands......
Any question?"

Student: "yes. How to make a girl unconscious..!

A Girl was a college student.

Once that Girl comes late to class.

 

Teacher: Why are you late?

 

 Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

 

Teacher: So, What?

 

 Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

 

4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN

• Dogs obey wen u shout @ dem

• Dogs dont shop

• Ucan giv away ur dogs children

• Any guy can get a good lookin dog!

SMS-Text Isults

• My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

• If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

• Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

• Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

• Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

• You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

One Liners-SMS

• How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.
  

• Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

• Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

• Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

• Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!

• How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.
  

• On the cellphone pad of life, always keep one finger on the disconnect key.

• Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

• FRIENDSHIP MEANS... I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

HUGGING YOU

Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you... I wish that someday I'd dream about my pillow and I'd be hugging you.

IDIOT

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Syllable's

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"

"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."

"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"

"Does anyone know another word."

"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word."

"Saturday." says Mike.

"Great, that has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"No Ma'am, you're thinking of 'blowjob', that's only two syllables!"

Three women were talking about their love lives.

Three women were talking about their love lives.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a porsche; fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."

One Cent

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!" exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, "Yes." So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "Four cents," he replies. "Four cents?!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

Two Blonde's

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Just an e-mail note

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. 

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. 

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: 

Dearest Wife, 

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. 

Your Loving Husband. 

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

We have new babies

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

How old are you

A little girl and her mother were out and about. 

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" 

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." 

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" 

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." 

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" 

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." 

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. 

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything." 

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again. 

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old." 

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" 

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds." 

"Where did you learn that?" 

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."