Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Girl friend and Boy friend
Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.
TWO WOMEN TALKING:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
NOW TWO MEN TALKING :
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah....
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
NOW TWO MEN TALKING :
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah....
So sweet Wife
Wife (on the phone): Where the hell are you, jerk?
Husband: Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw that necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and I told you, "Baby, it'll be yours one day!"
Wife: Suddenly in a soft polite voice "Yeah, yeah, I remember, my love!"
Husband: I am at the bar just next to that shop!
Wife: Go to hell, you jerk lolzzzzzzzzzzz
Husband: Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw that necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and I told you, "Baby, it'll be yours one day!"
Wife: Suddenly in a soft polite voice "Yeah, yeah, I remember, my love!"
Husband: I am at the bar just next to that shop!
Wife: Go to hell, you jerk lolzzzzzzzzzzz
After engagement with engineer!
Girl: Now stop looking at girls,
u r commited now!
engineer: Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet, that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . .:-D
engineer: Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet, that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . .:-D
Very Good Family
Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!! \m/ ;) :P :D
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!! \m/ ;) :P :D
Aftr engagemnt with engineer!
Girl: Now stop looking at girls,
u r commited now!
engineer: Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet, that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . .:-D
engineer: Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet, that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . .:-D
A 4 part story.......
Guy 1: "Owky, I'm gonna tell u a story with 4 PARTS. Ok remember that, 4 PARTS...!!!"
Guy 2: "Owky..."
...
Guy 1: "I'm gonna start with part 1...
There was a husband and a wife, they were driving to a camp site when they came upon a split road...
The husband goes: 'Let's take the left one.'
The wife goes: 'I think we should take the right road...'
Then the husband slaps the wife across the face... 'Who's driving, me or you?!?' And they take the left path....
Guy 2: "Hahahahahaaaaa..."
Guy 1: "Owky, now I'm gonna tell you part 2...
Once they get to the camp site the husband goes fishing so his wife can cook their dinner.
He comes back and the wife says, 'Good, now I can cook fish soup for us to eat...'
The husband says, 'But I wanna eat fried fish..'
The wife slaps the husband across the face and says, 'Who's cooking me or you?!?'
And they end up drinking fish soup...
Guy 2: "Hahahaaaa.... lol..."
Guy 1: "Now I'm gonna tell you part 4....
Guy 2: "What about part 3?!?"
Guy 1: ****Gives two big slaps to guy 2 across the face****
"Who's telling the story, me or you?!?"
Guy 2: "Owky..."
...
Guy 1: "I'm gonna start with part 1...
There was a husband and a wife, they were driving to a camp site when they came upon a split road...
The husband goes: 'Let's take the left one.'
The wife goes: 'I think we should take the right road...'
Then the husband slaps the wife across the face... 'Who's driving, me or you?!?' And they take the left path....
Guy 2: "Hahahahahaaaaa..."
Guy 1: "Owky, now I'm gonna tell you part 2...
Once they get to the camp site the husband goes fishing so his wife can cook their dinner.
He comes back and the wife says, 'Good, now I can cook fish soup for us to eat...'
The husband says, 'But I wanna eat fried fish..'
The wife slaps the husband across the face and says, 'Who's cooking me or you?!?'
And they end up drinking fish soup...
Guy 2: "Hahahaaaa.... lol..."
Guy 1: "Now I'm gonna tell you part 4....
Guy 2: "What about part 3?!?"
Guy 1: ****Gives two big slaps to guy 2 across the face****
"Who's telling the story, me or you?!?"
ROFL XD
A girl removed her jeans , threw it at her boyfriend and said.,
"MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WIFE"
Boy removed his jeans , threw it at the girl and said.,
"Wash Both the Jeans !!" :D :P
"MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WIFE"
Boy removed his jeans , threw it at the girl and said.,
"Wash Both the Jeans !!" :D :P
Diff b/w confident n Confidential
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. . . . . .
Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential." :D :P
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. . . . . .
Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential." :D :P
Valentine's Day - Jokes
Valentine's Day is only 13days away
.
.
.
.
.
.
So remember, It's not too late to Break-up & Save Money.. :P
.
.
.
.
.
.
So remember, It's not too late to Break-up & Save Money.. :P
Boy and Girl
Boy(romanticly):
I wana tel u something ?
Girl:its not gud 2 talk while eatin (after eating)
G:now tel me.
Boy:der was a mosquito in ur food..!
Girl:its not gud 2 talk while eatin (after eating)
G:now tel me.
Boy:der was a mosquito in ur food..!
Husband and Wife
Neighbour- how ur husband comes on tym regularly??
Wife- i hav just made a simple rule... ''romance will start sharp @ 9.... Wid u or widout u!;)
Wife- i hav just made a simple rule... ''romance will start sharp @ 9.... Wid u or widout u!;)
Innocent Son
Innocent Son: Mom why my cousin's name is Jasmin ;)
.
.
Mom : Because your Aunt loves Flowers :| . .
Son : Mom What do you Love ? :P . .
Mom : Dicky stop asking me such stupid questions ! xD :D ♥
Mom : Because your Aunt loves Flowers :| . .
Son : Mom What do you Love ? :P . .
Mom : Dicky stop asking me such stupid questions ! xD :D ♥
WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?
The girl said "no".
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and partied, had girlfriends, did nightouts and hunting and vacationing, smoked and drank lot of beer and scotch, came home late and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END!
The girl said "no".
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and partied, had girlfriends, did nightouts and hunting and vacationing, smoked and drank lot of beer and scotch, came home late and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)