Showing posts with label College and Schools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College and Schools. Show all posts

Try answering urself & find

Hahaha...... Read on ....... Hahaha.....Try answering urself & find.... Hahaha... U try urself...
 A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.
Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'
 Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.
My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
 Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office.
While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was.
 The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
 The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
 Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
 Boy.: '9'.
 Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
 Boy.: '36'. And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know.
 The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'
 Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?'
The principal and Boy both agreed.
 Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'
 Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
 Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy.: Coconut
 Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
 Boy was taking charge. Boy.: Bubblegum
 Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
 Boy.: Shake hands
 Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
 Boy.: Tent
 Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
 Boy.: Wedding Ring
 Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. 
Boy.: Nose
 Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
 Boy.: Arrow
 Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
 Boy.: Fire truck
 Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
 Boy.: Fork
 Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
 Boy.: SURNAME.
 Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
 Boy.: HEART. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

 'Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD,

 I got the last ten questions wrong myself!' Hahaha...... :-)))))))

Square and Circle :O

Teacher : What Shape Is The Earth..??
Student : I don't know.

 Teacher : Well.!! What kind of earrings does your girlfriend wear..??
 Student : Square ones.

 Teacher : No, I mean the ones she wear on Sunday.
 Student : Round

 Teacher : Then, What shape is the earth..??
 Student : Square on weekdays And round on Sundays. :D :P

HEIGHT OF ATTITUDE

Teacher : Write an Essay On 'If Im a Millionaire'

All Students Started writing Except one Boy ,

 Teacher : Why dont you start Writing ?

Boy : Im Waiting for My Secretary :P

Chemistry is Complicated

Who says chemistry is easy!!! Chemistry is Complicated ... 2 GuysConversation in Bathroom DuringTest ..

 G1 : You Gotta Help Me !
 G2 : I Am Just here For Peeing . I can't Help During test
 G1 : Please Dude ... I Am Gonna FaiL
 G2 : Okey Be Quick .. Ask Me ?
 G1 : Whats Abbreviation For Nobelium ?
 G2 : NO
 G1 : But You Said You Will Tell Me...
 G2 : NO !
 G1 : Ok Leave it Tell me Whats Sodium ?
 G2 : Na !
 G1 : Damn Atleast Tell me Of Potassium ?
 G2 : Hmm K !
 G1 : What's Okay ?
 G2 : Just K !
 G1 : Whats Just OK ?
 G2 : You Mean OK2 ?
 G1 : Whats OK Too ?
 G2 : Potassium Oxide ..
 G1 : Oxide ?
 G2 : O
 G1 : Oh ! What ??
 G2 : Oxygen
 G1 : Damn Not Oxygen I Asked For Potassium ?
 G2 : K
 G1 : NO
 G2 : Nobelium
 G1 : Nobelium ?
 G2 : NO
 G1 : Just Give Me The Bonus Question Answer . Whats Element166 ?
 G2 : Uhh
 G1 :Go On ?
 G2 : UHH
 G1 : UHH ??
 G2 : Exactly
 G1 : NO WHAT IS IT ???
 G2 : Nobelium
 G1 : Damn For God Sake Atleast Tell me For URANIUM ?
 G2 : Thats U !
 G1 : I Know Thats Upto Me ... But IAm Asking Your Help
 G2 : U !
 G1 : NO YOU !!!
 G2 : Nobelium . Uranium
 G1 : You Are An Ass
 G2 : URANIUM (U) ARGON (AR) NITROGEN (N) Arsenic (AS) U AR N AS 
G1 : You Are An Ass
 G2 : Exactly !!
 G1 : Baaah !!!
 G2 : Barium !

A Professor Explained Marketing to MBA Students.........


 1. You see gorgeous girl in party, you go to her & say I am rich marry me That’s – Direct Marketing.

 2. You attend party & your friend goes to a girl & pointing at you tells her. He’ is very rich, marry him - That’s Advertising.

 3. Girl walks to you & says u are rich, can u marry me? “That’s Brand Recognition“

Brilliant Student!!!

Teacher : What happend on 1908 ?
 Student : Abraham lincoln was born !
 Teacher : what happend on 1918 ?
Student : Abraham lincoln was 10years old :D

Self Control....

People SMOKE & DRINK for few days & get addicted..
..
..
Look at me..
..
..
..
..
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..
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..
..

I am STUDYING since CHILDHOOD, bt not YET ADDICTED to STUDIES.
This is called "SELF CONTROL.."

Junior School Joke

In the classroom of a junior school...

Teacher: Everyone who thinks he's stupid, please stand up.

After a while, only one student stands up...

Teacher: OK, so you think you are stupid!

Student: I don't think I'm stupid at all!

Teacher: Then why are you standing?

Student: I felt bad seeing you standing all by yourself!

Past Tense :D

Teacher: 'I am very beautiful' - which tense is this?

Student: Naturally, it is the past tense!

Answer Sheet Blank


Two kids Jack and Jill were fighting in the classroom just after their examination got over. The teacher came in and asked why were they fighting...

Jack: (Pointing to Jill) Because this foolish boy has left his answer sheet blank.

Teacher: But why
does that bother you?

Jack: I did the same thing. Now you will think that I have copied from him!

Little Attention

Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention in class.

Student:
I'm paying as little as I can!

Accounting Rocks

A Boy got caught in class throwing paper planes...
..
Teacher gives him punishment to write 5000 times
" i will not throw paper planes in class "
and told him to submit it tomorrow.

..
Next day, he submitted the paper on which he wrote.
.
Punishment
< debit by 5000 >

My mistake
< credit by 5000 >

to record
< "i will not throw paper planes in class" >

Teacher Shocked
Accounting Rocks... :D

Who is a teacher???

Teacher:Johnny what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people were nolonger interested?

Johnny: A Teacher



A bribe for your professor!!!

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

Syllable's

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"

"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."

"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"

"Does anyone know another word."

"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word."

"Saturday." says Mike.

"Great, that has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"No Ma'am, you're thinking of 'blowjob', that's only two syllables!"

Cute Lie

A 6yr old boy on phone:My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to School today.

Teacher: Who is this?

Boy:This is My Father speaking!

Seven Rabbits...

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

Smart Sam...

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

History paper research on the Internet


Man: "How's your history paper coming?"

Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful. 

Man: "Really?"

Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"